Life Is All About Pleasure

I don't care what anyone tells you. As long as you are not hurting anyone else, focusing only on all life's pleasures would be best. There are too many, and some are much simpler than others. I will forever point out that one of the best things I've ever experienced is sitting in an outdoor hot tub while it's snowing. But, of course, the whole situation was made much better by having a hot Scandinavian chick sucking me off. That's why I love porn so fucking much. It allows me to reach a certain level of pleasure I can't get anywhere else. Sure, sex is better, way better, if we are being honest. However, there is one big difference between the two. Jacking off to a porno ensures I don't have to cuddle with the chick after sex. Also, you don't have to take anyone to dinners or something similar so that you can bust a nut. All you need is a quality porn site with a ridiculous amount of great smut and a healthy hand. Well, you can add a pocket pussy, lotions, and stuff like that, but that can be too big of a hassle. Some of you like using socks or sticking warm spaghetti in an oven mitt and then showing your cock into it, but that's too much for me. But, hey, remember, we can always agree to disagree. That is the true beauty of life. We don't have to conclude which type of pleasure should top the rankings. We are all into different things, and that is more than okay. Life would be boring if we were all interested in the same stuff. If you are still exploring what pleasures you the most, I might have a solution for you. It is not me. Rub Rankings is the one to help you out. I am just the middleman.

Not Sure What to Expect

I was confused when I read the email one of you sent me about reviewing Rub Rankings. The reason for that is that I thought they were a website filled with porn site reviews. I was under the impression that they were doing the same damn thing that I was. It would be unprofessional to say anything about them if that was the case. Luckily, I was wrong, since they offer us a completely different type of service. When I read the Rub part, I was sure that it was a porn site with a vast library of smut for us to shake our cocks at. However, they are ranking something completely different. Rub Rankings is a body run and Nuru massage directory. Every lover of erotic massages has probably used their services or at least heard about them. The site hasn't been around for long, but they have brought in pretty good monthly numbers, regardless. You can use this website to find sexy chicks with gentle hands to give you a life-changing massage. I have reviewed similar sites quite a bit in the last several weeks. It makes sense for them to be increasingly popular since people are looking for privacy while doing their dirt. Escort services do not offer the same type of anonymity because, sooner or later, someone will see you in public with those girls. We all know how that works, it starts low-key, and next thing you know, you are taking these high-class sluts on dinners and to the theater. So don't be captain save-a-hoe, and make your way to one of the massage parlors in your area. The ones that Rub Rankings has on their listings will help you get the job done. Unfortunately, however, they only offer these services to those in the United States. What a bummer.

Straight to Business

I like websites that don't waste my time. Daily, I review at least one smut-related site with too many unnecessary bells and whistles. We all know why we are here. There is no need to prolong what we are trying to do. Rub Rankings seems to agree with me, and it is obvious that great minds think alike. Anyway, as soon as you go to the website, you can search for massage parlors in different cities in the US. The list can be found on the View Cities tab in the upper left-hand corner. Each state has a few cities or towns listed, except Wyoming and West Virginia. South Dakota is another one without a representative on the said list. In all reality, it is not like those places need massage parlors. No one goes to Wyoming or South Dakota, while West Virginia is often filled with college-age kids looking to get dirty. You can choose a keyword, country, region, and city in the search tabs. I have no clue why countries are even available when, as I already said, you can only select the United States. I can only assume that they are also looking to expand their services to other countries, but they might be a bit too late since similar sites already offer that. Regardless, I look forward to having multiple options for a massage. Rub Rankings promises that it is 100% anonymous, and they also ensure the data privacy of its users. For those who are looking to make their ads on the site, they are offering that possibility at affordable rates. Refreshes will cost you $2, while featured ads are $1 daily. Visitors can see reviews and ratings of each person or a parlor offering their services through this site, which is always good.

Give Me More Information

Of course, I had to check out the listings because I am a professional. Each has a title, body type, and service location. There is a description as well, and it tells you their whereabouts. If a listing offers the same services in more than one location, that will be posted as well, along with the names of the girls providing massages. That is not bad, but they also tell us what services they offer. In all reality, this is a classier and more low-key escort website. Each of these girls seems willing to give you a happy ending if you visit their place. Some are obvious about it and are not hiding the fact, while others are probably more willing to talk about it once you meet face to face. Regardless, you will more likely than not be leaving their place with your balls drained, and your body relaxed. If you don't know what a Nuru massage is, let me educate you about uncultured swine. Of course, it comes to us from Japan since they are some of the most perverted bastards on the face of Earth. This includes a sexy chick rubbing a lotion or a gel on her naked body and then using it to scrub you. It is a sensation you've probably never experienced before, so make sure you don't cum before you get to the good part. Some of the girls list their signature skills. Yes, those are a thing as well. One of them had pretty interesting ones, and they piqued my interest. Feeding with huge coconut boobs sounds hot as fuck, but so does ice & fire deep throat. She also seems to be an expert at body sliding, standing upside-down & rear squatting doggie Nuru, and many other things. I need to find out how I can contact her ASAP. Oh, there is a phone number. Look at that.

Solid Providers Protection

I already told you that Rub Rankings is protecting the data of its users, but that is true for the providers of the services as well. Anyone can ask for the deletion of their ads whenever they feel like it. There is only one problem with all that. Scammers could take full advantage of these features as well. They don't verify the providers, which further supports my theory. All of that sounds a bit too sketchy for my liking. Also, another thing that annoys me is that I can't search by distance like you can on Bumble or Tinder. Regardless, if you live in the US, can't get laid, or are just looking for a nice sensual massage, RubRankings has your back. You will be able to get information about the sluts in the listed cities willing to ensure you have the best time of your life. So there isn't all that much to complain about the whole ordeal if we are being totally honest.